I feel like a whole different person at the end of this month vs. the end of last month. Last month I had finally come to terms with the loss of freedom I was feeling which manifested itself as resentment towards Matthias. Still feeling good on that front.
What I was struggling with was the almost always “on-the-verge-of-crying.” I say that because she wasn’t always crying but it felt like I was always having to do things to keep her from not crying. I was feeling seriously under appreciated and lots of guilt for being so upset that Quinn was unhappy. About a week after I posted that Quinn really turned a corner. She smiles so much more now and coos/squeals happily more regularly than she was before. She is still a pretty serious chick (ahem, she totally takes after me…), but she has laughed FOUR TIMES. The chiropractor got the biggest laugh out of her. Seriously Quinn!? Haha All of these positive things have really lifted my mood. Now that she is able to go in the jumper or exersaucer and hold her head up for a longer period of time I think she is much happier because before she was either being held (but only in certain upright positions) or laying on her back or tummy (which she isn’t a fan of). She enjoys being upright and looking around and doing this more consistently has helped her be in a better mood I think. Her napping has improved and therefore the
sometimes regular hour long struggle to get her to sleep is mostly gone and she is usually napping for longer stretches.
I feel like the entire day has a bit of a pattern now, which helps me to plan out what we are doing, and honestly, feel more in control, which is what I was missing.
I still can see how this job feels thankless sometimes. But then she gives me a big gummy grin when I sing to her and I figure that is thanks enough for now.
I wrote in a previous post that I finally “get it” and by “it” I mean love being a mother. When I came home from yoga one evening I walked into the house and saw Quinn up on Matthias’ shoulders for her very first piggy back. She was content, looking around, licking his head, pretending she was hungry (I fed her right before I left so she was faking). I walked over and said a big “Hi Baby!” to her and she looked at me and broke out in the biggest smile. That was my “get it” moment. I love her so much and I am so blessed to have her in my life.
I made a commitment to myself at the start of this month to put forward more of an effort to push myself to workout harder and more consistently. I’m feeling ready and eager to work towards getting my body to a place that is less soft and easily winded. I want to feel strong and capable again. The scale is still moving in the right direction!
I’ve been going to Mom & Baby Yoga and Quinn has been doing MUCH better. Also – holy sore arms after. She isn’t the lightest thing to swing and lift when you are in goddess pose or warrior 1. I’ve also been taking a second yoga class every week! Emily from the Breathing Room recently started providing Yoga to the folks of Blackfalds through Ebb & Flow Yoga. She’s doing outdoor classes right now and I am LOVING them. Matthias makes sure he is home at about 5:30pm those nights and then I go get my om on for an hour, come home and put the little lady to bed.
In other news, I’ve developed a lovely little thing known as “mommy thumb” aka De Quervain’s tenosynovitis (dih-kwer-VAINS ten-oh-sine-oh-VIE-tis). For a few weeks I was having shooting pain in my left thumb/wrist/forearm when doing certain movements like lifting Quinn out of her crib or opening door knobs. So now I am wearing a wrist/thumb brace which, you know, makes parenting a baby so easy and stuff. Catch the sarcasm there? Hopefully it goes away soon because it is seriously putting a damper on things.
- Wonder Weeks App/Book – Love it! Quinn usually gets grumpier two-ish days before she goes into a leap and this last time I really noticed it because she had been substantially less grumpy prior to that. Also enjoy how it gives you activities and suggestions of things you can do while they are in the leap.
- How has it already been a quarter of a year? HOW?!
- I’m thinking my next Mind & Body Update will be at the 6 month mark
- This is my 500th post. FIVE. HUNDRED. How?!