Mind & Body After Baby – 6 Months

First off – please excuse my lack of posting/commenting as of late. I’m still trying to figure out this whole coaching/blogging/facebooking/instagraming/feedlying social media balance thing and I haven’t quite got it down yet! If you’re wanting to follow along on the Facebook Party CLICK HERE. I try to post there everyday!

6 Months. Holy smokes. It’s been (more than) 6 months since I last felt that little baby wiggle inside me. 6 months since her heart beat was still a part of my body. 6 months since I held her in my arms for the first time. 6 months since her NICU stay.

I’ll talk about my mind first. I struggled. For probably the first 3 months, I struggled hard. To have your little baby spend her first 6 days in the NICU… being poked, and prodded… not sleeping next to you… needing to be hooked up to monitors… having a different nurse every shift assess and find things wrong… I was tested and pushed to a limit I didn’t even know existed.

Being a brand new mother with limited family support and watching helplessly as your all of this is happening to your baby, while being a nurse and understanding to some extent why this is happening, but not always agreeing with the assessment of others is so hard. It is beyond difficult. Those 6 days were the hardest 6 days of my life. Hands down. I was told very conflicting information from the nurses. Quinn had a different nurse every single shift (even though they would come back the next day they would be assigned elsewhere so there was no consistency). Quinn was assessed by FIVE different doctors while she was there. I was told I was starving her (I wasn’t.) and I should give her formula. I was told I shouldn’t cuddle with her as she slept because she needed the restful sleep of being in the cot undistubred (WHAT!?) and that I didn’t need to do skin to skin with her. My hormones were raging uncontrollably meaning I felt all of this as extreme heartbreak. I was exhausted, worn down but on edge, hyper vigilant, protective, scared terrified.

Working in postpartum I felt like I “knew” baby’s for their first 3 days of life. I’ve worked with them a lot – I know that to look for, how they should be changing those first few days of life. I wasn’t worried at all about having a newborn. I thought the labor would be the hardest part for me. A vaginal delivery seemed unattainable, but caring for a newborn? Easy peasy. So when I got home on day 6 with a newborn I felt ripped off… like I was thrown into this newness without even getting to experience those first few precious days with my baby. Like I knew nothing. And most of all I was terrified I would miss something or mess something up and she would end up back in the hospital. That was the worst part of it all – the long lasting fear I had when she came home.

All of this impacted my initial bonding with Quinn. I loved her. I knew I needed to care for her and protect her and all of that. But I hadn’t yet fallen IN love with her because that is hard to do when you are being watched 24 hours a day by nurses and other health care professionals. I second guessed everything I did. I felt like I couldn’t be authentic with her. I get a lump in my throat just thinking about missing out on that precious time with her. I’m making up for it now though, don’t worry. I would say it took me a solid 6 weeks to feel bonded with her. My midwife would say “Amie, I can tell you are really fulfilled by being a mom” and I felt like such a sham. I was struggling and I didn’t know how to change it or ask for help or what help I even needed for that matter.

I felt resentful for all of my friends who had their own mothers come out and help for an extended period of time. Friends who are reading this who had their parents come and help – I’m sorry I felt this way. I hope I didn’t let it show and if I did I apologize. That wasn’t fair of me to do and I wish I could take that back. I felt angry at my own mother for being a shitty mother.

I also felt tremendous love and support from people I didn’t expect to feel supported by. I had an incredible outpouring of support from friends and other family members who came to visit and cuddle her and listen while I cried. I felt this constant mix of anger, love, resentment, happiness, sadness, fear, and joy. It was crushing.

Matthias went back to work 5 days after we got home. So I felt almost thrown to the wolves in a sense? I think I felt this way because of the crippling fear at the back of my mind that she was going to end up back in the hospital.

I struggled with resentment towards him… which was also undeserved, and I feel sorry for that. He was (and is!) the most amazing dad to Quinn, a loving and doting husband and partner, and my very best friend. I was mad at him because he could still play video games and I couldn’t do what I wanted to do. So petty. I’m glad I worked through that, it wasn’t fair to him.

I struggled with Quinn having colic. When that reared its lovely head I just about lost my marbles. My poor baby, who I had yet to fully bond with, seemed to dislike me. She cried and cried and cried some more. She wouldn’t sleep in my arms. She wasn’t soothed by me unless I fed her. This made me feel like an awful mother. And so I continued to feel like a sham.

I missed my independence. I missed working out. I missed being able to read a book and take a bath and relax without being interrupted by a crying baby. I missed feeling like I had a purpose besides being a mother. I yearned for bits and pieces of my old life. I wanted SOMETHING to make me feel like more than just a milk machine.

I grieved. For 3 long months, I grieved. Our NICU stay, not having a mother of my own, Quinn having colic, my changing identity and all of the things that I needed to give up/alter to fit my new life.

It was a process. And at the 3 month mark I was just emerging from the dark side of it. Quinn started to seem to hate me less (haha) 😉 I was able to find some time to do things for me, I felt like my hormones were finally level. I started to embrace motherhood. I really started to accept this new path I was on. I started to find more joy in my life, and instead of wallowing I sought out that joy.

So now, after that giant word vomit, I’ll talk about how I’m feeling mentally at 6 months. Have you made it this far? GREAT.

I’m feeling tremendous. I feel blessed beyond belief. I feel more love and joy than I ever thought possible. I feel insanely protective of my sweet little goose and insanely happy I get to watch her grow and learn and smile every day. She is so bright and full of life and love. I am so in love with my husband, for putting up with my shit, for being amazing with Quinn, and for being supportive with every en devour I take.

I am lucky. How did I get to be this lucky? I don’t fully know, but every day I am grateful for it.

Before I was a mother, I wasn’t sure I even wanted to be a mother. Then, when I decided I did, I wasn’t sure how I would be AS a mother. And now that I am a mother, I know that I was meant to be her mother.

Okay, BODY. Well, you all have read about me becoming a Beachbody Coach. I gained a ginormous amount of weight in my pregnancy (SIXTY FREAKING POUNDS.). Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda on that front. Shoulda eaten more vegetables and less bagels and blizzards, woulda worked out during my first trimester had I not been disgustingly sick for nearly 8 weeks, coulda toned down my eating in all trimesters instead of it being a free-for-all. Whatevs. It happened and I learned. I’m now 7lb above my pre-pregnancy weight and beyond that I’d like to lose a maximum of 10 more pounds. So I’m about 15lb away from where I want to be. Physically I feel great. I’m fitting into most of my clothes. Working out consistently. Doin’ my thang. Hah 😉

All in all, these last 6 months have been eye-opening, difficult, and rewarding beyond anything I could have hoped for, and I wouldn’t change it for a damn thing.

Here’s to a lifetime more of being your momma sweet girl.


Quinn – Half a Year

6monthI’m just flabbergasted that my wee little baby is half a year old already. While it seems like forever ago she came into the world it also feels like just yesterday. I guess that must be a mom thing? Just so many mixed emotions about her growing up so fast! Haha


Future Blogger ;)



16lb 4oz – 58th percentile


65cm – 39th percentile


42.5cm – 61st percentile


6-9 month stuff mostly. Pekkle is all 9 month and those are getting small. Carters is mostly 6 month.



Still going strong with Q2H Breastfeeding. Kinda hoping that will change with adding solids but at the same time it will also signify the end of a special bonding period. Before I had a baby I knew I wanted to breastfeed until a year, but I was pretty sure I wanted to stop at the 1 year mark. Now… I’d be okay going a little longer (please note: I might change my tune when a tooth cuts!). I don’t think I’ll be one of those lady’s that breastfeeds until age 2 or beyond.. I still can’t see myself making it to that point, but maybe 1 and a half? I dunno.

Okay forgive my ignorance but I am so confused (and haven’t looked it up, hence the ignorance!) about the whole weaning process? Like at 1 year on the dot is it expected that their calories should be coming primarily from solid food? What happens if it is before that point? What happens if they get to 1 year and it isn’t that way? HOW do baby’s wean down to just one or two feeds a day!? I think the reason I haven’t researched all of this is because I’m in denial this this will actually happen and she won’t need me as much anymore. *tear* At the same time, I am looking forward to being able to travel for work/nursing again without having to plan my life around breastfeeding, because no lie, that is a pain in the ass. Anyways, that was a random pile of thoughts. I’d love to hear about your weaning experience and if you have any good resources share em’! (Don’t laugh at my silly questions haha this is all new!)


My goal for this month is to be more consistent with offering solids. Up until now I had just done so when Quinn was awake at the time I was eating (which was rare). As of me typing this there are a bunch of sweet potato sticks roasting in the oven haha. I’m going to start out with lunch. Then I’ll add breakfast. Then I’ll add supper (she goes to bed so early!). The reason I’m starting with lunch instead of breakfast is because she is usually awake around the lunch time that I eat whereas I usually wait till she is asleep for her first nap to eat breakfast. (Again if this is so out in left field please leave me some feedback! – Makin’ this up as I go along haha).

Quinn’s tried a variety of foods. Her favorite is banana (Her momma’s daughter!). She tried some pasta (in the form of a casserole, just 2 noodles), roast, pita bread (she LOVED this haha), butternut squash, cheese, and apple.

My doctor told me she will become iron deficient if I don’t give her cereal. I had a chuckle about that one.

Quinn has no teeth and no sign of teeth although sometimes I think her gums bother her.

cutieNight Sleeping

Quinn is still waking up anywhere from 1 to 2 times a night. If she is still doing this by the time she is 7 months old I will be weaning her off night feeds all together. Once in a while she sleeps straight through, so I know it is possible for her.

Day Sleeping

I think the books lie when they tell you that baby’s naps should be 1-3 hours. I call complete BS. Or at least that is the case with my child. They are usually 35-45 minutes regardless of what I do or how I try to extend them. She is still napping 4 times a day. I thought is was supposed to be 2 long naps by now and they would consolidate sleep during the day? Fucking BS. Can you tell this topic slightly pisses me off? :/ Her stamina to stay awake is closer to 2 hours now which is a blessing and a curse considering she rarely naps longer than 45 minutes.


Quinn’s health has been good this last month (knock on wood!).


Shes sooo close to sitting unassisted. She can for a few seconds and then she looks around and topples over haha. She can roll back to front and front to back although she only rolls front to back in her crib and its rare. She also can bring her knees up under her bum but no rocking back and forth yet.


IMG_4878Quinn’s favorite toys are ones with lights and music. She also still loves bouncing/jumping. She is much more independent with her play this month so I can actually get a few chores done here and there. She likes being sung to and feeling new textures. She also loooooooves petting the animals. Doing that is the bees knees.


We got our semi custom Uppy! It’s called Prairie Midwives and its a size 4 and its beautiful. I haven’t taken too many pictures of it yet because we got it last week right before we went out of town but hopefully this week I will get some good ones!


  • Sophie
  • Bananas and Chicken
  • Drinking Milk
  • Exersaucer & Jolly Jumper
  • Pulling Hair (mom’s, dad’s beard, and the animals)
  • Being tickled
  • Splashing in the Bath
  • Bouncing
  • Reaching for things
  • Feeling new things
  • Petting the animals


  • Having her face wiped
  • Sitting still for getting dressed
  • When people aren’t paying attention to her
  • Broccoli
  • When the dogs lick her face
  • Travelling
  • The Car Seat for long periods
  • Being restrained in any way


Be Filled <3

FullSizeRender-1Let’s all take a moment to talk about how seriously awesome the Be Filled Planner is. I’ve read about them on both Becky and Lindsey’s Blog’s before, but had yet to experience the awesomeness myself, until now!

As a busy mom, new entrepreneur, Registered Nurse, spin instructor and yoga teacher – I have a lot of stuff on the go and I find it annoying to always be entering in appointments to my calendar on my phone, it just isn’t user friendly or pretty. So I knew I wanted a sweet planner for my next year because I’m hoping to stay just as busy.

Be Filled offers quite a few cute colour schemes to chose from for your planner. I went with Teal and . The cool thing about these planners? You go in and enter the dates for everything, and number through the weeks as the year goes on. Of course me being the Type A that I am I went through and labelled my whole 2016 year. Another bonus? You don’t get all the crazy holidays listed for everywhere in the world. You know when you look in a planner and in small writing it says “National day of {insert holiday here} – Australia,” like …. thanks, but I didn’t need to know that. So with this planner you can go through and enter in the holidays you celebrate!

When my planner arrived in the mail (so quickly I might add!) I wasn’t sure what was going to be inside the box. That bad boy was heavy – like small textbook heavy. So when I opened it up and saw the planner I was super excited. This thing is DURABLE. It could possibly be used as a weapon in the event of a break in (not like I’m hoping to use it in that fashion of course). Durability is huge for a planner. I don’t want some flimsy dimsy thing thats going to rip if I blow on it the wrong way. I want something that is going to hold up when my baby turns to a toddler next year and is on the destruction path.

FullSizeRenderI also loved the quotes on each week page, the to-do lists you can create, and the places to enter in all the birthdays and anniversaries each month. The colours pop, the font is fun, and the days are separated into morning, afternoon, and evening which makes it easy to plan your life!

Another fun bonus? Each month has a fun puzzle to do like sudoku or word search. And there is a fancy pocket in the back to hold business cards and other papers you might need that are important. I can’t say enough about all the cool features these planners have!
2016, I’m comin’ at ya! 😉

Interested in getting a Be Filled Planner of your own? Check out the website and contact a vendor close to your area. Give them this code “Amie’s Blog” to save 15% until March 2016!

{I was given a very generous 30% off my order for a review of the Be Filled planner on my blog. All opinions are my own and I’m seriously looking forward to using this bad boy in the new year. It will definitely be my go to for planners from here on out}

5 Ways Beachbody Has Made Me a Better Mother

IMG_46711 – I’m eating healthier! Since adding Shakeology into my life I have felt great. I have more energy throughout the day which leads to less sugar and caffeine consumption. More energy also means I’m happier and more willing to cook healthy meals instead of sitting on the couch.

2 – I’m exercising consistently! I’ve really changed my tune now with the at home workouts. Before I was just so BLAH about them. Now that I am in a challenge IMG_4549group I feel more accountable because I want to set a good example for my challengers. Plus we do fun bonus challenges which mixes it up. If I’m not feeling Turbo Fire one day I can throw on BOD and try out a different workout. I’m also not dreading travel to and from the gym either when Quinn is awake and needs to be timed perfectly or when she is asleep and then I feel more lazy about it. Problem solved! Pop in a DVD, Press play, and if the kiddo is awake stick her in the exersaucer or on the playmat and if she is asleep then that’s even better!

3 – I feel more like the Old “Me”! They weren’t kidding around when they told you your entire life would change when you had a baby. Back when I didn’t have a baby I brushed this notion off… “Yeah, it happens to other people, but me? It won’t happen to me.” HAH. Good one. I struggled for a solid 10 weeks emotionally with the shift motherhood placed into my life. I thought I was ready… I wasn’t. (P.S. How in the hell do teenagers or people without their life “together” survive this?!) I really mourned the loss of my old life. It’s not like I was a party-er or really did much of anything that was exciting, but I still longed for something that was just mine – separate from Quinn. Beachbody has given me this. I feel passionate about something separate from my baby. This doesn’t make me a bad mother, it makes me human. 😉

4 – I’m a better wife and friend! I feel like I have sufficient “Me” time now between working out, working on my business, and juggling being a mom and wife and having friendships. By being a happier wife, I am improving my relationship with Matthias and in turn our relationship has grown stronger. A strong relationship with my partner makes me a better mother because it sets the stage for Quinn to have healthy relationships in the future. I also feel more inclined to reach out to my friends and set up play dates/get togethers. This time is always refreshing and positive. :)

5 – I’m setting a positive example! By eating healthier, moving consistently, and being HAPPY in my own life and relationships I am setting a positive example for my child and future children to do the same in their lives. Win win!IMG_4644